September 28, 2023

Discerning Prophetic Promises with Mia Fieldes

Inside This Episode

After years of battling disappointment in dating, Grammy-nominated songwriter Mia Fieldes began to expect mediocrity. But in her mid-30s, she felt God call her into a new mindset of radical hope. To her surprise, God rooted this hope in the promise of a soon-to-be-revealed, “custom-made” husband. Not only did God fulfill this promise, but He has since made other promises – all of which have seemed impossible and all of which have nevertheless come to pass.

Watch this interview:

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Julie Mirlicourtois: On this episode of Maybe God, Grammy-nominated songwriter, Mia Fieldes, shares her incredible story of meeting Jesus for the first time when she was just five years old at a Salvation Army in Australia. She also shares how she fought off major disappointment in areas of her life that seemed hopeless.

Mia Fieldes: I took it very literally when it says in Hebrews that faith is the evidence of things unseen. And I couldn't see it, but I sure as heck could go looking for evidence. So, again, instead of looking for what God wasn't doing, I began to look for what He was doing. And I began to do some things in the natural that would help to build my faith in the spiritual.

Julie Mirlicourtois: Mia's music and her testimony encourage us all to listen for God's promises and contend for miracles in our own lives.

[00:00:55] <music>

Eric Huffman: Mia Fieldes is a Grammy Award-nominated songwriter originally from Sydney, Australia. Some of her songs that you might recognize are Christ is Risen, Tremble, Yes I Will, and others like He Knows My Name, Chain Breaker. And my personal favorite of all time is Peace Be Still. That's just my own personal favorite of hers. I just want to welcome to the podcast today, Mia Fieldes. Mia, thank you for joining us.

Mia Fieldes: Hey, thanks for having me.

Eric Huffman: What's your personal favorite?

Mia Fieldes: Gosh, you know, sometimes people ask me that and I think maybe I haven't written it yet. I think they're all my favorites in different seasons. Usually, it's the ones that are not released yet. So there's a song at the moment that I wrote with a girl called Brilli Brown and Mitch Wong. And it's a song called Miracle Story. It's not out yet, but at the moment it's my favorite.

Eric Huffman: Wow. We'll be looking for that. So you're in Nashville now, is that right?

Mia Fieldes: I am and it's definitely allergy season in Nashville at the moment.

Eric Huffman: Indeed. How long have you lived there?

Mia Fieldes: I have lived here for nearly 14 years.

Eric Huffman: 14?

Mia Fieldes: Nearly 14, but I've tried really hard to keep my Australian accent, although my R's have gotten a bit hard. Like I'll start to say "water" and "sure" like an American.

Eric Huffman: So Mia, I'm really curious about your childhood. It just really piqued my interest for several reasons. Obviously born in Australia. Could you just tell us a little bit about the circumstances around your birth and sort of what made your situation unique growing up?

Mia Fieldes: Well, I think lots of people think I was born in a Christian family and born into the church, but my experience could not be further from that. I was born in a really small town in Victoria. When I say small town, I don't mean like there's a Walmart and there's a McDonald's. I mean, it's like bleak and illicit, like 3,000 people we're talking.

My mum was 21 when she got pregnant. She was single and she had a problem with drugs and she got pregnant by her dealer. And she was 21 and she went for a scan and they said... before she had the scan, they told her she was about 16 weeks because of her size. And she said, "No, I know I'm only 10 weeks pregnant." And they said, "No, you're definitely 16." And she said, "No, I'm telling you, I know I'm only 10 weeks pregnant." So they did a scan and they said, "Oh, you're having triplets".

So for a single, you know, 21-year-old who's got a drug problem, that would be scary. But my mum grew up in a very abusive household and her mum had left her when she was two. Like literally just got in the car, went to the shops, and never came back one day. So my mum had kind of a pretty crazy upbringing.

So she wasn't afraid of having kids because she actually just really wanted someone to love. You know, three is a bit overwhelming. But anyway, she had the three of us and just we kind of lived in a small town. She got off drugs while she was pregnant. And then when she had us, she kind of dove back into that lifestyle of drug abuse and alcohol abuse.

We kind of lived in her car for like six months. We lived in a women's refuge and we actually got separated and fostered out as kids. I'm one of those foster stories where I didn't end up staying with the foster family. My mum fought to get us back and thank God she did because it was the perfect... you know, God is so good about. Like He'll find you and partner with the season and the circumstances that you're in to work it into something beautiful.

Some people say like, you know, when I look back on my childhood or I tell it, some people say like, that's such a crazy childhood. Like, how can you talk about it so casually? But I think when something doesn't have... you know, when you get healed of things and when you can look back and see God in it and see what He was doing instead of what He wasn't doing, I think it's a lot easier to talk about it because when I look back, I just see all the places when God showed up and met us in that place and how he protected us and kept us. I think about the circumstances that I was in as a kid, like things could have ended up so much worse, you know?

Eric Huffman: Of course.

Mia Fieldes: It was actually the Salvation Army who... you know, when you go into the mall at Christmas time and you see those trees and there's all these little Christmas angels and they're like, you know, you could take the tree and you can say the name of the kid and then like a gift you can buy them. I was one of those kids. I was a Christmas angel kid.

The Salvation Army would make us Christmas angel kids every year and they would give us food parcels. Then when we were like five, they just started coming around past our houses, stopping at the front of our, the driveway where we were living, was like this... kind of a house in the projects. They would stop out the front on a Sunday morning and pick us up for Sunday school. My mom often would be like, you know, passed out and we would just get up as little five-year-olds and walk out the front and get in the van, which is kind of scary.

Eric Huffman: All three of you?

Mia Fieldes: Yeah. It's kind of scary with these little five-year-olds just getting in a stranger's van. But thank God for the Salvation Army. They took us to church. We would eat while we were there.

The biggest thing was that we would go there and we would sing these songs about God. I remember it was always the happiest I felt and it was always the safest I felt. And then one day they said, "If you want Jesus to live in your heart, He'll come and He'll be your best friend and He'll never leave you and you won't be afraid, and you'll have a friend all the time who's with you wherever you go."

And for me, my theology has not really changed that much. Not that it's not matured, but it's, you know, I think it's often the simple things that stay with you. I've found that not just to be my mindset, but to be my experience that He's been the closest friend I've ever had. So yeah.

Eric Huffman: How old were you at that point, Mia?

Mia Fieldes: I was five. And then from that point on, we kind of just kept moving around cities. I mean, I say cities, tiny little country towns. And when I was eight... you know, wherever we would move to, we would find a Salvation Army and we would just start going to the Salvation Army, me and my sisters.

And my mom was really happy for us to go because she just so badly didn't want our lives to turn out the way... you know, for us to have some of the same experience that she did. Like, you know, have the same generational stuff. So she was actually really happy for us to go to the Salvation Army.

I mean, she was quite protective about like... even when we were growing up, about not doing certain things and not going certain places. But when we were eight, my godfather actually got saved and he said to my mom, like, "You should come to church with me." And we were like, "Yeah, come to church, come to church, you know?"

So she came to church. It was during the Toronto Revival. I remember she went up the front to say the salvation prayer and she went up the front and she fully got laid out in the spirit. And she was like, "What the bleep is going on?" She swears, you know, which I think is so wonderful. Like how wonderful! Because that's just such a normal response to someone who has not had any experience at church.

Then from that point on, she got clean and gave up alcohol and drugs. She actually ended up marrying my Sunday school teacher who was the greatest dad that I could have ever asked for.

Eric Huffman: How old were you then? I'm sorry to interrupt.

Mia Fieldes: We were nine.

Eric Huffman: Okay.

Mia Fieldes: It's funny because she always thought my Sunday school teacher was cute. She would see him around town, but she was like, "Well, he's always got kids around him, so he's probably married." But he had kids around him because he was the Sunday school teacher.

Eric Huffman: And he became a father to you?

Mia Fieldes: Oh, he's the greatest dad. I think he was always the dad that God picked for me, you know?

Eric Huffman: Wow.

Mia Fieldes: He's just such a tenderhearted, faithful, constant person, you know. So I look back at my childhood and... you know, some people could look back and go like, that's pretty wild childhood. I look back and I go like, How good is God? Look at how God found us. Look at how He showed up. Look at how I got to see my whole family encounter Him in a way that changed the course of our lives, you know?

Eric Huffman: So are you still close with Mom and your Dad?

Mia Fieldes: Oh, yeah. We go home every year for... I drive my husband to Australia every year, usually for Christmas.

Eric Huffman: What about your sisters?

Mia Fieldes: Yeah, still really close with my sisters. I talk with them every day. And then I have two younger sisters now who are 11 years and 16 years younger than me.

Eric Huffman: Wow. Big spread. So forgive the sensitive question here, but have you ever met or interacted with your biological father?

Mia Fieldes: Yeah, I have. I've met him a bunch of times. My mom actually didn't even tell him about us until we were two. She wrote him a letter and just said, "By the way, I got pregnant and I've got triplets." I've met him a bunch of times. I've met his other kids. I think he just never really got off that path of drugs and alcohol. I think I don't really think of him like my dad. Because I think what makes a dad is not how you contributed in 10 seconds, you know, if I can say that.

Eric Huffman: Sure. Yeah, I get it.

Mia Fieldes: So I kind of think of him like, yes, I have some of his DNA, but I think of my stepdad as my... I don't even call him my stepdad. I never have. He's just my dad, you know?

Eric Huffman: Yeah. And like you said, he's the dad that God had for you all along. That's awesome. You've mentioned in other conversations that you had a sense of purpose as a child, like divine purpose. And I'm just curious how early on you sensed that and how you knew it was God, you know, sort of giving you a calling even in childhood?

Mia Fieldes: I think everybody gets giftings and God gives everybody different things to steward. Some get five and some get 10 and some get one. I always felt like the kid that got one. I didn't feel like I had all this supernatural talent. In fact, I kind of felt incredibly average in the natural. But I had this big faith gift.

So when I would hear things like, God knows the plans He has for you and it's a plan to bring you a future to hope, I would believe that. I would hear teachings on like, many are called but few are chosen. And I would think I'm chosen. Even though I'm a clone of two other people in the natural and they are the talented ones, and I was kind of like the dad, you know.

I'm just like, well, my sisters are incredibly talented. It was intimidating to grow up looking like two other people knowing you're not as talented, knowing you're not as skilled. We would be in school plays and stuff like that and they would be the two lead characters and I would be tree number four.

But because I had a sense of purpose, I would think, "I'm going to be the best tree number four that anyone's ever seen. People are going to go home and talk about tree number four, even though essentially you're a prop." I think I also never really like... you know, it comes back down to that childlike faith, which I think is easier at five to develop a foundation of and to be convinced about... you know, when you're five and you hear that you're special, I think sometimes that's easier than hearing it when you're 25, you know?

Eric Huffman: Yeah.

Mia Fieldes: I would hear people teach on things and I would hear people teach on like the way that Jesus thinks about me. And I just believed it. I think I just didn't stop believing it, even though I didn't have the goods and the natural to back it up.

Eric Huffman: Yeah. Right. And it's interesting to me your story is so intertwined with music from the start. I think we in the church often undersell or undervalue the importance of music as far as it being a teaching tool and a real ministry tool. It's almost treated like a pregame show in a lot of churches where we're just getting warmed up for the sermon and the sermon is sort of the thing.

My church is kind of wired that way. And yet the stuff people go home with are the songs that we sang that they remember and they sing throughout the week and the theology sticks with them, the messaging of the song stick with them way more than my sermons do. And I think that's just how God made our brains, right? Like the worship book of the Bible is a songbook, right?

So even at five, you were so touched by those songs that the spirit moved through those and in a powerful way. When did you first start putting pen to paper and writing music or writing songs?

Mia Fieldes: Well, I started writing poetry, like incredibly bad poetry. I loved putting words on paper. I just started with that. I was probably like 14 or 15 when I started writing poems. I used to change the lyrics to like Spice Girls songs and stuff, which is great. Great. Even now I realize it's kind of like a good writing exercise.

Eric Huffman: Sure.

Mia Fieldes: My very first song I ever wrote though was for my youth group and it was a song called Praise Revolution and it was dreadful. It was like half of a rap song and then half of a moody kind of, I don't know, I can't even describe it. It's probably like now, if I brought it back, it's probably incredibly cutting edge. It's probably like Billy Eilish meets like Jay-Z or something like that.

Eric Huffman: You were before your time.

Mia Fieldes: Yeah. I've always been on the forefront for sure. No, yeah. So I started writing songs when I was probably 16 and they were awful. I kept writing and they kept being awful. But because I had this sense of purpose, I just kind of stuck with it and because I actually really enjoyed it, I just stuck with it.

So my story is really one of not having this incredible talent and having this one little thing and trying to multiply it and just being really faithful with the one little thing and then watching it multiply as I just kept at it and persevered. It's like really a story of perseverance.

Eric Huffman: And it's such a deeply biblical principle. It's all over the gospels where we take something small and just tend to it, you know, we grow what the Lord gives us and we're stewards of it and faithful stewards. I love it.

Mia Fieldes: I think that's hopeful for people as well because I think more than people feeling like they're super talented or like they have it all together, I think lots of people feel like they don't have anything that special, you know?

Eric Huffman: Right.

Mia Fieldes: And I'm proof that you don't even have to be that special and you can be the weird kid with cystic acne, who lives in the back end of a really tiny town and plays the tuba, and then you just stay convinced that God thinks you're special and He wants to use you for something intentional and something significant. And then you just keep stewarding what's in your hands and be like, okay, I've got this little thing and I'm just going to grow it.

Eric Huffman: Right. So good. Now, when you first kind of came on my radar, I kind of knew your songs. I didn't know much about your story until I heard you tell the story of waiting on God for a husband and how God sort of delivered a husband to you. I would love it if we could get into that story. I know you probably feel like you've told it a bunch of times, but-

Mia Fieldes: I try not to tell it over and over again, just because I'm a big believer of not making huge mountains out of moments. But I also kind of think there could be someone who listens to this who hasn't heard it before. So it's good for them to hear. So I'll give the summarized version, just because it's quite a long story.

Eric Huffman: Please. Please.

Mia Fieldes: I think sometimes people feel like there's a lot of shame or a lot of like... maybe it's selfish to ask God to move in certain areas of your life, especially if it doesn't feel like a holy thing or a ministry thing or something. But I'm like, let me just stop everyone right there. Like your family is the greatest ministry you're ever going to have.

So because I was from this little tiny town and my upbringing, I had really seen God move in every single area of my life. Like we'd come from living in my mom's car to seeing God really help me to get a better mindset about finance. I'd seen Him move in my finances. I'd seen Him move in my friendships. I'd seen Him move in like even this little kid having a dream and God going over and above and like that dream of career or whatever coming true. Like nobody sets out thinking, I'm going to try and write songs and make a living off that.

But like God just was so kind about the way He'd done everything. And because I'd known His nature to be very kind and to be very good in all those areas, it never really made sense to me that I hadn't seen Him move in the area of romantic relationships. So I'd seen Him move in friendships so I knew that He was interested in that. But romantic relationships, I'd always just kind of had bad luck in that area.

Eric Huffman: Was this in your 20s when you're kind of having these reflections?

Mia Fieldes: Oh yeah. Because I didn't even kiss a boy until I was 22. And I say that in a very morally superior way, but actually that was not the case. I just was like-

Eric Huffman: It wasn't your plan.

Mia Fieldes: No, it wasn't my plan. I just played the tuba and I was really chubby and dressed weird and had cystic acne and glasses before they were cool. I think I just never really dated that much. And to be honest, I never even really got asked to date. And I couldn't really figure that out. But when I did, it just always just was not great, you know?

Eric Huffman: Sure.

Mia Fieldes: I think it's good to self-reflect and be like, am I the problem? But it wasn't even that. It just didn't go great. It was like, I just didn't have peace about it. And I thought, Gosh, I hate the idea that I'm going to have to push through and just keep staying in something I don't have peace about. Like if this is what marriage looks like, you do something that makes you feel stressed. Like, I don't know that that's a good road for me.

So I kind of just had had bad luck and just kind of sad stories or unfair stories that had kind of happened. And I started to say to God, I really want you to move in this area. I remember just being at a friend's house. It was actually with the first night of our church, you know... I go to a church called The Belonging. But back then it was just seven of us meeting. It wasn't even supposed to be a church. It was seven of us just having a prayer meeting at our friend's house who are now the pastors.

And Alex said, God wants to heal some things. She talked about the story where the waters are dirty and God says, put salt in the water and the waters will be healed and the land will be fruitful forever. Anyway. So she said, "God wants to heal some deep stuff." And I remember being under the pool table and I remember praying, "God, would you heal the sickness with no name?" And sometimes you pray things and you prayed it. And sometimes you pray things you think I didn't pray that. Like, that's not something that I would pray.

Eric Huffman: You mean it was something like the Holy spirit praying on your behalf?

Mia Fieldes: It was totally the Holy Spirit helping me to intercede for the thing I actually needed. Because I would have prayed Lord, bring me a great husband. But He prayed, "Would you heal the sickness with no name?"

Eric Huffman: Wow.

Mia Fieldes: And God began to show me that I had such a filter of disappointment and that it had become so much part of my identity that I, even if He wanted to do something, I probably couldn't see what He was trying to do anyway. And it was really affecting my expectation in that area and my hope in that area. So that night I just said, God, would you heal this? And He began to kind of unravel things and heal it.

And I spend time saying that because there are so many people who will listen to podcasts or listen to stories of what God's done in someone's life, and they'll think, "Oh, that's the formula. I'm going to go do that." But let me assure you, God is so intentional and so unique that He does want to do something for you that's completely just you and Him and it's completely your language and completely your own story. You don't have to copy someone else's.

But I think the big thing is it's like so often our experience can create a filter of disappointment or a filter of fear or a filter of anxiety. And once you have that filter, it's incredibly hard to see ahead in a way that is healthy, you know? I'm a big believer of counseling and I'm a big believer of all that sort of stuff. But I also think the Holy Spirit is called the wonderful counselor for a reason. And it's amazing how He can get to the root of something in one session, you know? So you begin to feel this-

Eric Huffman: For free, by the way.

Mia Fieldes: Yeah, absolutely free. He'll make you do the work, but He'll walk it out with you.

Eric Huffman: Sure.

Mia Fieldes: So I began to walk out this journey of God healing this disappointment where I started to go through life where I would finish seasons and finish the year hopeful and expected instead of see nothing ever works out, you know, see it's hard, you know, see, like I got overlooked again or whatever.

I ended up going on this journey with God where I had this moment in church where I'd said to God... and this kind of freak some people out because I think not everybody... some people would go, well, I don't know how to hear God like that. But I had this vision in church where I said, God, I'm going to keep trusting you, but I want to know what you're doing.

And I had this vision of a furniture warehouse and it was this massive warehouse and God the Father was standing beside me and He said to me, "You can pick anything you want," which was so redemptive for me because I was in the South. I was in my mid-30s and everyone I knew was married, you know? So then people start to look in the actual go, well, these are your options, you know, like there's limitations on everything, you know?

Eric Huffman: Right. Yeah. Time to lower those standards.

Mia Fieldes: Time to lower your expectations. If someone's saying that to you, then I would maybe get new friends.

Eric Huffman: Wow.

Mia Fieldes: You can't make everyone understand what God's told you, but at the same point, they can also say nothing. I'd rather have people say nothing than people say something that is downgraded with faith. So I have this vision of this furniture warehouse, God says, "You can pick anything you want."

Long story short, I start walking through the furniture warehouse and I just don't have peace about anything in there. I remember going back to God in the vision and saying, like, "I don't want to pick if you're not going to pick with me." And He smiles and He holds me tight and He says, "Mia, all of this stuff is good. I'm the one that created everything here. So all of it's good. I love all of it. All of it's unique. It's good. But there are some things here that are better for you than other things. And they're going to work better in your life than certain other things." But He says to me, "If you really want me to pick with you, I'll custom make it for you. It's not here. I'll custom-make it for you."

Eric Huffman: Wow. And then he said, "Custom make things take longer. Are you willing to wait a little bit longer and be empty-handed for a little bit longer?" And I said, "Yes." And then that vision was over. So all of a sudden then I've gone from getting healing from this disappointment to having expectation to God meeting me in that expectation and giving me a picture or a promise.

So instead of now praying for a promise, I'm praying from a promise, which I think is incredibly important. I'm not saying you have to have a vision of love like a furniture warehouse to get a promise. You know, the Bible is full of promises. If you haven't got one, then go to Bible and find one. I think it's a big deal to start praying from a promise instead of for one.

Eric Huffman: Can you just take that a step further and help us understand the distinction between praying for a promise and praying from one?

Mia Fieldes: I think it personalizes it. I think it takes it from like this is just a good word in the Bible and a good scripture and it's a good promise for everybody else to like, this is something that God has said. To be honest, he's kind of already done it because He's outside of time. So I'm just partnering with His heart and partnering with Him in agreement of like, this is going to happen. Not in a way where you're trying to manipulate God or you're trying to put your will on somebody else. Please don't do that because it's witchcraft. It's like a little freebie there.

Eric Huffman: Yeah, appreciate that.

Mia Fieldes: I say this a lot and I try and say it every podcast that I do. I think it takes it from God can and He will, theoretically, to like when you're praying from a promise, it's He can and He will, and He wants to. Because you begin to understand the nature of God. The promises are there for you. The promises are there because he wants to be such a kind Father for you.

So instead of praying for something like where it's like out there and it's not attached to anything, you're praying for a promise in a way that's like, No, this is for me and God is kind, and He wants to intervene in my behalf and He wants to show His nature in it, you know? And that doesn't mean it's attached to a circumstance. It just means it's attached to the nature of God.

Eric Huffman: Sure. It's trusting Him and trusting who He is. How long did He make you wait?

Mia Fieldes: I think about another year and a half. So about another year and a half, maybe a little bit longer. But in the time, because I had this promise and this picture, I took it very literally when it says in Hebrews that faith is the evidence of things unseen. And I couldn't see it, but I sure as heck could go looking for evidence.

So instead of looking for what God wasn't doing, I began to look for what He was doing. And I began to just do some things in the natural that would help to build my faith in the spiritual, you know?

Eric Huffman: Like what?

Mia Fieldes: I mean, it's like crazy stuff. I felt sad one day and lonely, so I went to Sephora and I bought the best-smelling men's cologne that I could find because I thought, well, it's for somebody. It's for my custom-made human. He's just not here yet, you know? But I've got a promise from God and I'm praying from that promise so I can like act on it as though it's already real, you know?

Eric Huffman: Did you just keep it in the box and wait?

Mia Fieldes: Oh yeah. I put it in a box. And I actually ended up gathering this whole box full of evidence of like what God was doing. It's so sweet because now I go back and I still have that box full of evidence and it's such a reminder of look what the Lord has done. And it's such a reminder of not just what God did but the way He did it, you know?

Eric Huffman: Yeah.

Mia Fieldes: So after that I kind of went to... I had a little while later where I was in church and I felt loudly in my spirit the Holy Spirit saying, it's in the mail. And I thought, yes. Like furniture only ever takes like six to eight weeks. And I kept thinking, Oh gosh, like Valentine's Day is a six to eight weeks. Like that means God's going to give it to me for Valentine's Day, which I love how we try and make sense out of God, you know?

Eric Huffman: Oh yeah, totally.

Mia Fieldes: Like, oh, yeah, I've got this. I can take it from here, you know? And Valentine's Day came and went and I didn't get anything in the mail. But I thought it's okay because I've still got a promise so I can keep praying from that, you know? And I can keep expecting from that promise, not from my experience.

Eric Huffman: Sure.

Mia Fieldes: Anyway, long story short... I keep saying long story short, and it's always such a long story. I went to Israel. I thought, "I'm going to do some evidence hunting in Israel." And I went to the Sea of Galilee and, you know... there's so many miracles that happen at the Sea of Galilee.

Eric Huffman: Of course.

Mia Fieldes: So I ended up grabbing this rock from the Sea of Galilee and I wrote marriage on the rock. And I went into the middle of the Sea of Galilee and I threw the rock in the middle of the Sea of Galilee. And actually, you know, you said Peace Be Still is your favorite song. I actually started Peace Be Still on that trip at the Sea of Galilee.

Eric Huffman: You're kidding.

Mia Fieldes: And I'd said to some friends, like, "I'm going to write a song about this."

Eric Huffman: Do you remember what part of the Sea of Galilee you were on by chance? Like what village or town?

Mia Fieldes: I don't know. Just out in the middle somewhere. I don't know. There's a nice restaurant across the way on the edge of the shore. So not that that's helpful.

Eric Huffman: I only ask because in 2013, I was saved at the Sea of Galilee.

Mia Fieldes: Oh, wow.

Eric Huffman: That's where Jesus found me was in Capernaum.

Mia Fieldes: Oh, it wasn't at Capernaum. We did go to Capernaum. It was somewhere else, I think.

Eric Huffman: Sure.

Mia Fieldes: That's such a cool story. I mean, gosh.

Eric Huffman: Yeah, it's wild.

Mia Fieldes: I got saved in a little tiny Salvation Army of like 40 people.

Eric Huffman: Hey, that's a cool story, too.

Mia Fieldes: The Sea of Galilee is way cooler.

Eric Huffman: It just took Jesus longer to get through to me, so I was a little older than you.

Mia Fieldes: Well, Peace Be Still, the title of that song was nearly called Galilee, and then we changed it to Peace Be Still at the last minute.

Eric Huffman: Amazing.

Mia Fieldes: Anyway, I was in Israel. I ended up going after the Sea of Galilee to this market, and I bought these rings. Like I bought a ring. I thought I was buying a ring for me just to remind myself, like not to have a fake wedding ring, but just because I was like, I want to remember everything that's happened in Israel. You know, I'd gone to the Wailing Wall, and instead of praying like, "God, please do this, I actually left a thank you note in the Wailing Wall for God, like thank you that you gave me a promise, and I can just sit on that promise and just wait until it happens, you know, and keep part with you until it happens."

But I bought this ring, and I put it on. It was like a bit big, and all of the rings were too big, and the lady said, "Actually they're all men's rings. We only have men's rings." And each one had like a Hebrew saying on it. And I remember having two rings in my hand, and I put one down, and I said, "What does this ring say?" And she said, "It says I'm for my lover and my lover is for me." And I ended up buying that ring.

And when I got back from Israel, it was probably a week or two after getting back from Israel, and I was about to go to bed, and I got an email on Facebook, and it said, "You probably don't remember me, but two years ago I saw you at your church when you smiled at me, and I've remembered it ever since. And I don't live in Nashville, but I would love to take you on a date." And I was like, "Oh, this is the guy."

Eric Huffman: Man, I've heard this story before, but I just got chills again, so wow.

Mia Fieldes: And you know what's so funny, like in that moment the Holy Spirit like just says to me, "I told you it was in the mail." And I had a little giggle because I was like, he's got such a good sense of humor, like the email. It's in the mail. It's in the email. So I would love to say then I got this email, we went on a date, and then like everything worked out.

Eric Huffman: Magical.

Mia Fieldes: Yes, it absolutely did. And even on the first date we kind of were like, we're going to get married probably.

Eric Huffman: Wow.

Mia Fieldes: But then when you get a promise, you still have the opportunity to partner with what your own experience is.

Eric Huffman: Sure.

Mia Fieldes: So it was like a wrestle for me of like getting this email and feeling so much expectation and so much hope about like this could be the guy, like this is it, and feeling God on it, feeling peace on it. There was still this opportunity for me to partner with like, but you know maybe he doesn't show up or maybe it just doesn't go well."

I just decided I'm not even going to entertain any of that. And I think sometimes we give our fear a bit too much space. And something great God said to me was, "Do you trust that I can fulfill my promise even outside of this particular person?" And it was such a good thing for me to hear because at the end of the day, I don't have control over somebody else's free will, so whether I feel God on it or not, that person still has a free will.

It was a really good thing for me to just go back and be like, yes, God can completely follow through on everything that He said regardless of whether this works out or not, you know? I think I kind of went into dating from that point of view.

Eric Huffman: Sure.

Mia Fieldes: I kept falling back on that, like, regardless of Joren, God's got this, you know?

Eric Huffman: And Joren is the name of your now husband.

Mia Fieldes: My sweet husband. And how cool is this? So, Mia Fieldes in Italian Mia means "my." So Mia Fieldes means my Fieldes, and Joren actually means farmer.

Eric Huffman: No way.

Mia Fieldes: You know, don't you love the detail of God?

Eric Huffman: Romantic.

Mia Fieldes: You love the details of God, you know? I think some people are like, "Oh, you're just looking for stuff. And I'm like, Yeah, of course, I am. Of course, I'm looking for stuff. Aren't you? Like no wonder you're having such a bad experience. It's because you're not looking for stuff, so you're not looking for God in anything. So of course you're like, God never shows up. Even if He did, you wouldn't notice.

Eric Huffman: Yeah. And some people are actually looking for not God, like whatever that is. Like they're just looking to prove that God isn't there to look for anything. The one promise of Jesus that keeps coming to mind is like seek and you will find. Like whatever you're looking for you'll find it.

Mia Fieldes: Absolutely.

Eric Huffman: I really appreciate your definition of faith. I mean I don't mean to put words in your mouth, but as I understand it, you sort of define faith as that looking for evidence process, right? Like an active search.

Mia Fieldes: Yeah. It's like being so convinced about the nature of God that you're looking for Him in everything. You're looking for what He's doing and in a way where you're like, God I'm going to seek you because I want to partner with what you're doing and how you're doing it.

Eric Huffman: Sure.

Mia Fieldes: Because I think in a Western culture it's very easy to... you know, we have a lot of people that are saying they've got this God story, but when they tell it you go, I don't feel God on that. And it's funny because when someone tells a genuine testimony, whether you can relate to it or not, you feel the presence of God on it.

Eric Huffman: Sure.

Mia Fieldes: You go, wow. And there's something about this story that makes you go, if He can do that for them then He could do that for me, you know? But in a Western culture, it's very easy to strong-arm God and to do it yourself and then just use God as the sponsor, you know? Especially because we so want our breakthrough often a lot quicker than the way that God's doing it. Or we want it a lot more conveniently than the way God's doing it.

Eric Huffman: So after the initial date and all of that, how long did it take for you all to make it to the altar?

Mia Fieldes: Six months.

Eric Huffman: Six months later you were married?

Mia Fieldes: Uh-huh.

Eric Huffman: Wow. And if I could ask, how old were you at that point when you got married?

Mia Fieldes: I was, I think, 34 or 35. Okay. Being a girl living in the South, I feel like people treated that like it was the greatest miracle since walking on water.

Eric Huffman: You're just 34. Oh, my gosh.

Mia Fieldes: A strong, independent 35-year-old has got married. Like, oh, my gosh, somebody turn the water to wine. Look what the Lord has done.

Eric Huffman: Oh, no.

Mia Fieldes: God's so great about like... you know, I don't ever want to just believe in a God who is not so intentional. That He didn't know the exact moment that Joren and I needed to meet. He knew the exact season. He knew both of our experience. And I will say, you know, thank God He did things the way that He did things because I think about if I got married in my 20s, I probably would have hurt someone a lot more than I meant to. I was quite reactive in my 20s.

Eric Huffman: It's like what you said earlier. Everybody's so unique and different. Like God knows us so intimately. He's got more in control than we give Him credit for sometimes. Like He knows us so well, what we're ready for and what we're not ready for. And not everybody's ready for marriage at 20 or 25.

Mia Fieldes: And you know what? If you want to get married at 20, even if you're not ready, then you can manipulate your way to make that happen.

Eric Huffman: Sure.

Mia Fieldes: To be honest, in a Western culture you can make anything happen. But I don't necessarily think the fruit of it is always great.

Eric Huffman: Sure. You know, God's gracious and good and He'll work with us in our stubbornness.

Mia Fieldes: And to be honest, you can get married at 65 and I don't necessarily think you're ever ready for marriage, you know?

Eric Huffman: Yeah, that's true.

Mia Fieldes: I think marriage is so... you know, people said to me, marriage is so hard, you're going to find the first year so hard. I guess it is hard if you're a very narcissistic person. But if you're going into it thinking I'm here to serve somebody else, you know, which is a daily...

Eric Huffman: Did my wife tell you to say that, Mia? I feel like that was planted.

Mia Fieldes: It's a daily reminder. Oh, you know. I say it for myself as well, the times that marriage is the hardest, it's because I'm being a jerk. It's not because Joren's being a jerk. It's because I'm being selfish, you know.

Eric Huffman: Sure.

Mia Fieldes: I can't change anyone else but myself. And it's the greatest gift. My reference point for marriage is God did this. So having an altar like that that I can look back on and say God did this, it's a great place to live this season out from.

Eric Huffman: Who walked you down the aisle?

Mia Fieldes: Oh, you know what? We actually didn't walk down the aisle. We got married in a taco bar.

Eric Huffman: I did not expect that.

Mia Fieldes: Yeah, we got married in a taco – because I was like... I'd been in 15 weddings. So I'd been a bridesmaid 15 times and a flower girl once when I was in my 30s. Right. I wanted to have the funnest wedding, you know. I wanted it to feel holy and it was very holy. Our pastors married us. Alex and Henry are my sweetest friends and they married us both. But they married us while everybody was eating guacamole and having a margarita.

Eric Huffman: Hey, nothing wrong with that.

Mia Fieldes: You know what?

Eric Huffman: As a Texan here I can attest.

Mia Fieldes: It was just like such a celebration and you felt the presence of God there.

Eric Huffman: Beautiful.

Mia Fieldes: Lots of people say they'd change their wedding now but I wouldn't change mine. Mine was fun.

Eric Huffman: Beautiful. Since then obviously we have heard this little miracle speaking up throughout this interview in the background.

Mia Fieldes: Yeah, having a chat.

Eric Huffman: Your little baby Booth. I asked you before we started if you had a... I think I said a parrot or a baby. She sounds like a cat also sometimes. She's a little bit loud like a – yeah, yeah.

Mia Fieldes: Most of the time she's kind of like pretty chill and quiet but I think Joren's playing with her in the other room. So she gets like super excited when he's home playing with her.

Eric Huffman: That's what dads do. Good stuff. So when you say the phrase "contend for your miracle," is all of this like searching faithfully for evidence and trusting God's promises actively in your life, going to the store and buying cologne for a man who's not in your life yet, is that what you mean?

Mia Fieldes: What I mean is like you get convinced about the nature of God and you get convinced about what He has said. Because it's really easy to second guess, well, did God say this? But I'm like, if you don't have a God who's willing to speak in your life and you don't have promises that you're praying from, then what is the point? It's basically just leaving everything up to fate. I don't think that's how God works, you know?

Eric Huffman: Yeah. So when I say contend for a miracle, usually it's me saying I know that I heard from God, so why would I take no as an answer just because my experience is the opposite of what I'm believing for? I'll use Booth as an example. So we called our daughter Booth because of the Salvation Army. I've got to say the Salvation Army. William Booth started the Salvation Army, which is why she's called-

Eric Huffman: Sure. I wondered what the connection was. That makes all the sense in the world.

Mia Fieldes: The Booth family was a pretty amazing group of people. About two years into marriage or a year into marriage, we started thinking about kids and I had had like this little health issue where I was quite anemic and I kind of went to the doctors for a year and a half, two years, trying to figure out what it was, and we just couldn't really figure out what it was in America.

So one year when I was home for Christmas, I went into a doctor off the street in Australia and I just said, "Look, this is the issue I'm having." And he said, "Oh, let's just send you down the road to this place called Q-Scan that does ultrasounds like for a skin." And I was like, "Okay, great."

So I go to Scan and that night I had a dream that I was 20 weeks pregnant with twins and one was bigger and one was smaller. And I remember in the dream holding my stomach and saying to this doctor in the dream, "Is everything okay? Is everything okay?" And like he said, "Everything's okay. You've got nothing to worry about."

The next morning I woke up and I went back to the doctor and the doctor said to me, "Your scan has come back and they've discovered that your uterus has grown to 20 weeks pregnant and there's two tumors in there. One is bigger and one is smaller."

Eric Huffman: Oh my gosh.

Mia Fieldes: And I straightaway thought of that dream that I just had and I just knew in my spirit that God was the doctor in that dream where He said, "You've got nothing to worry about." So now I'm sitting in the doctor's office knowing I've got these big tumors in my uterus and not being able to do anything about it, you know, for weeks because I'm in Australia and I'm going to have to go back to Nashville and find a specialist and all that sort of stuff.

But just like having this knowing like everything's okay, there's nothing to worry about is just something you're going to have to deal with. But there's nothing to worry about. Again, so I say praying from a promise. Like I already had this promise at the very outset of trying for kids I've got nothing to worry about.

Anyway, I came back to Nashville, found a specialist and she said, "Yeah, they're really large fibroids. There's three kinds and you've got the ones that you don't want to have." They basically kind of prevent you from getting pregnant. So I ended up having to go in for a C-section and to get those cut out which is pretty unusual thing. It's pretty crazy feeling to be believing for kids to go in for like the most aggressive form of delivery that you could have and to walk out empty-handed.

But before I went into hospital, God had said to me, "I'm going to take your story from a beautiful story to a miracle story." So I kind of was like, okay, I didn't want to need a miracle but I guess that's where we are. And I now have this promise of like God's going to give me a miracle story.

So while I was in hospital, they did this operation. It was meant to take three hours, it took about seven. And I woke up and my husband said, "I'm really sorry love but they've taken one of your ovaries." Which as someone who is getting close to 40 and is already having issues with your uterus, you don't also want to lose an ovary.

Eric Huffman: Of course. But I've got this promise from God. So I just feel like, yeah, it's going to be okay. So I'm incredibly optimistic actually and just believe like, "Oh, I'm going to have this surgery. It's all going to heal. And in six months on my first try, I'm going to get pregnant." And I'd love to say that that's what happened, but that's not what happened.

And I tell you every single month my husband and I would believe that we were pregnant to the point of like stupidity. Like we would just be like, no, no... I don't know if I'm allowed to say like "period" on this podcast.

Eric Huffman: You can say that and anything you want to say.

Mia Fieldes: I just did. So I would literally be like, no, no, it's not that. It's implantation bleeding. And I'm like, no, it's not. It's like, You're definitely not pregnant, you know? But I would just be like, no, but I know God's going to do this. Well, a year later I went for another scan. I did a sonic histogram or something like that, which is not the most comfortable procedure. And then they did another scan, they said, "Actually those tumors have grown back and we're going to have to cut them out again.

Eric Huffman: Oh, my.

Mia Fieldes: So then they had to go in and cut them out again. And then about a year after that, you know, they'd sent us to a fertility specialist. That kind of always bothered me because I thought I don't have a fertility problem. I just have a space problem.

But the fertility specialists were like, "No, you've got a fertility problem." And I'm like, "It's amazing. You can let people speak things over you and you can be in agreement with that or you can be in agreement with what God has said, you know," which God has said to me, "I'm going to give you a miracle story." So cool, I don't have to be in agreement with ultimately I have a fertility problem. So that's where I'm going to start navigating things from.

Anyway, we did this thing called IUI where it's like... it's not IVF, it's different. It's kind of they just put things close to the finish line. Like kind of like put them like... it's like a blind date, you know.

Eric Huffman: But on the cellular level.

Mia Fieldes: Yeah. You know, it's not that invasive. It's kind of fine. You don't have to take hormones or anything like that. Anyway, they did that. They said, "We'll let you do it three times. I kind of convinced them to let me do it five times." And then the fifth time it didn't work and they just said, "You're out of options. Even if you do IVF, your chances aren't good. You're out of options."

And in that moment I kind of had a choice to be in agreement with that negative report or to go back to what God had said. And that's why I say you've got to get a promise. Like you've got to get a promise because otherwise you don't have anything to stand on.

Eric Huffman: Right.

Mia Fieldes: Otherwise you're going to like to be honest the diagnosis that you get or the way things look or your experience, it is going to get louder, you know. But in that moment they said to me like, "You're out of options." And I said, "I know that you have to tell me medically what you're seeing and you have to navigate it from there but I don't." And I said, "Respectfully I'm not out of options. I'm God's favorite person and I'll call you when I'm pregnant."

And I kind of got up and I walked out and I just said like, "Don't call me. I don't want to do any more treatments. I don't want to do anything else. I'll call you when I'm pregnant." And about two weeks later, I called them and I said, "I'm pregnant."

Eric Huffman: You're kidding.

Mia Fieldes: Yeah.

Eric Huffman: Wow.

Mia Fieldes: It was so fun actually because the same day our church had had this conference and my pastor... like I got that report and I was like, "No, I'm going to get pregnant." And I got that report and I got back to the conference and my pastor had said like... she was halfway through preaching and then she just stopped and she said, "Mia, I know it's a bit weird, but do you mind if we all just pray for you?" And I was like, "Yeah, go for it," which I think you've got to let people in. And sometimes it's not just for your miracle.

Sometimes it's for their miracle as well and for them to build their own faith, you know, to see a real-life miracle at work. So the whole conference prayed for us that day and believed for a miracle. It was so sweet. We just had that conference again like three days ago.

Eric Huffman: Wow.

Mia Fieldes: And Alex was like, "Mia, can you come on stage and pray for people that are believing to get pregnant?" So I took Booth on stage with me and Joren came with me and we prayed for people to get pregnant." And it was so great because so many of those people were there the year before and they reached their hands out and prayed for us. And they're getting to witness a real-life miracle. Oh my gosh, look what the Lord has done.

Eric Huffman: Sure.

Mia Fieldes: The crazy thing was, in that room the year before, you know, they prayed for me. They said, "Mia, can we pray for you?" There was another girl called Mia in that room who was having fertility issues and she was like, "I know they're not talking about me, but you said Mia so I'm going to stand up and get the prayer anyway." She fully got pregnant.

Eric Huffman: Oh my goodness.

Mia Fieldes: Which how cool is God? He's so creative.

Eric Huffman: Amazing. Yeah, He is. I'm just so happy for you and for your family.

Mia Fieldes: Thank you.

Eric Huffman: It's just such an amazing story and I hope you don't stop telling it. Even though I understand the concern about, you know, we can make sort of idols of our stories if we're not careful.

Mia Fieldes: It's not that I don't want to tell it, it's just that I want to keep having stories. I want to keep walking with God and for every season to have a "look what the Lord has done".

Eric Huffman: Of course. So if I had a point of concern, I guess, for people listening who let's say they've heard a promise from God or they think they have and whatever that is, maybe it's marriage, maybe it's a spouse, maybe it's a child and years have gone by and nothing's happened and they feel further from that promise than they were when they received it. In some cases we're talking decades, not years, you know, people who at some point you just start to get really jaded and cynical about hearing stories like yours and frankly like mine. I've got similar stories I could tell, you know, that sort of sing the praises of God and show His miraculous ways.

There are just people who have trusted and tried to trust and believe in a promise that never came. Or they received a promise and like you mentioned earlier, the free will component, people can screw promises up. I think about a family I'm working with right now who got a promise for a child and raised this child with all their love and care and at early 20s, he was hit on his motorcycle and he's gone now. But they had a vision from God for his whole life that was ahead of him and then he's gone.

I feel like sometimes we can run the risk of making God sound like He's a genie in a bottle for us, but not for other people. Like we do it right because we got our answers that we wanted and other people don't or something. Like how do you thread that needle when you come against someone who says, "Look, I used to believe what you believe, but life has taught me otherwise."

Mia Fieldes: Right. It's so multi-layered. I think about even the family you've just talked about and it's tough because that experience doesn't stop being tragic until the other side of eternity, you know? We also have a God who knows exactly how it feels to lose a son. He's incredibly close to that brokenheartedness. I would say the vision that they had, I don't know that that's not something that didn't come true, you know.

Eric Huffman: Sure.

Mia Fieldes: Because it depends how you think about heaven. If you think about heaven like we're just floating around on clouds, then I would say that that vision doesn't make sense. If you think about heaven like it's a continuation of this life where there's no weeping and no sorrow and everything's made whole, that son has got purpose in heaven and he's got a job in heaven and he's outworking his destiny in heaven. It's not his destiny stopped. It just stopped on this side of eternity, which is incredibly heartbreaking. But as far as like... not that it makes it any easier on this side of eternity.

Eric Huffman: Sure. No, I hear you.

Mia Fieldes: It absolutely doesn't.

Eric Huffman: I hear you.

Mia Fieldes: But man, the promise of eternity, gosh, it makes eternity feel very close, you know, knowing that it's not forever. Losing someone here is not forever. I would say about as far as believing for a promise, you know, I wasn't 80 when I got married but I did start praying for it when I was 16. So in some sense, I did have decades go by where nothing happened.

Eric Huffman: Sure.

Mia Fieldes: I do know what it's like for people to say like, Well, I heard from God and God didn't come through. And I think honestly that's probably the cancer of the church. It's probably the biggest thing that takes people out is disappointment.

It's incredibly brave to try again. It's incredibly brave and I think necessary to go back to God and say like, Hey, I've not seen you move in this area and I've put this away in a box because I don't even want to think about it because it hurts too much. But I'm bringing it back and I'm putting it back at your feet and I'm asking you to tell me what you're doing. I'm asking you to either confirm a promise or give me a new one.

And you will find that God will meet you in that spot. He's not cruel. He's not cruel. He's not going to say nothing. He'll either repeat Himself and say like, I know it's hard, but just don't let go yet or He'll give you a new promise. But the thing about God's word is He actually fulfills it and He wants to fulfill it.

So I don't know. It's tough. Like waiting is incredibly hard. It's the hardest thing on the planet and it's hard to be like, Well, that person they blink and they get kids, you know, and half of them I have to go through three major surgeries and lose an ovary and do all these fertility treatments and then go and see a hormone specialist. Half of them I've got to do all this stuff.

Like, especially when you're in your head, you're like, I did everything right, you know. But we've got to change that mentality as well of like, you know... Sometimes the promises of God, yes, you live by kingdom principle, you often will get kingdom result. But, you know, I don't want people to think of it like it's a rewards-based system. It's really got nothing to do with that. It's really got everything to do with the fact that God is kind and that we live a certain way because we want to honor Him and because He goes, This is the best that I have for you. This is the best journey that I have for you and it has certain fruit. But, I don't know, I think people think like, you know, it's a reward for good behavior and that's just not true.

Eric Huffman: Sure.

Mia Fieldes: If you want to talk about biblical rewards for good behavior, pruning is a reward for good behavior. Pruning is a reward for fruit, you know. God cutting things back, like then you know you're on the right track. But it's not the way we think of it like where God's center and He's giving you presents for being a good kid. It's just not like that.

He's giving you presents and good things because He's a good Father and He keeps His word. That's why He's doing it. But we're completely not in control of how He does it. And I think that's where it comes into play the whole waiting patiently for the Lord. And half the time the things He's teaching us in it, I don't know. Sometimes I'm like, I don't want to learn this stuff. Can't I just have like the end result? But I look back and I'm like, thank goodness I had the journey.

Eric Huffman: Amen. I mean, that's exactly where you started this whole conversation was like the power of looking back and seeing God taking care of us, protecting us, providing for us and just letting your prayer start with gratitude for that.

Mia Fieldes: Oh, I mean if you want a secret weapon to open the windows of heaven over your life, then get grateful. It's incredibly hard to be disappointed and depressed if you're being grateful. It's incredibly hard to do. Like I'm going to be depressed but I'm going to be grateful. You just can't. You rewire your brain to gratitude. Like you at the Western Wall.

Mia Fieldes: Absolutely. Like where I just am like, I'm going to just keep partnering with God with gratitude. There's a reason that the Bible says we come into his courts with thanksgiving. I mean, if you want to present your case to God, if you've got a promise and you haven't seen it happen and you've sat on it and you know it's from God and it's biblical and it's not like praying for something random that God would never back.

You know, if you've got a promise and you still haven't seen it come to pass, then like I would say take your case to heaven. The Bible gives you really good framework for how to do that. You want to go and present your case in heaven, in the courts of heaven, awesome. Get in there with thanksgiving. Like, God, thank you so much that X, Y, and Z. You said this. I want to know what's going on with that.

Eric Huffman: Awesome. Well, Mia, you are such a blessing. You've been a blessing to us today and I know everybody who hear this conversation is going to be really blessed by it. I just want to thank you for your time today and for your witness and obviously, I thank God for you and all the gifts that he's given you and your stewardship of those gifts is profound and awesome to watch. How can people listening now connect with you beyond this conversation?

Mia Fieldes: I'm like a big believer... If you're in Nashville and you see me, come and give me a hug. If you're at my church, come and say hi.

Eric Huffman: The Belonging? Is that the name of the church?

Mia Fieldes: Yeah, The Belonging. It's a wonderful church. I guess you can reach out on social media and all that sort of stuff. I do my best to try and reply to everybody.

Eric Huffman: Okay. Mia Fieldes, thanks for joining us on Maybe God today.

Mia Fieldes: Thank you.

Julie Mirlicourtois: If you were moved by today's episode, please consider supporting future episodes with a one-time or recurring donation to Maybe God. Our work wouldn't be possible without listeners like you. Just head to today to find out more. This episode of Maybe God was produced by Julie Mirlicourtois and Eric and Geovanna Huffman. Our associate producer and social media lead is Adira Polite, our editors are Shannon Stefan and Justin Mayer, and the director of our full-length YouTube interviews is Mark Calver. Thanks for listening, everyone.